Hello Andi, I am or at least try to be positive and give advice based on my own experience. I for sure do not know your situation 100% only you know. But I am worried you are playing with fire. You married your wife for better or worse, as she did. As we here are all gifted/blessed/cursed with the knowledge of both genders a beg of you to try and see it from your wife’s angle. She is scared, more then likely smart and read on the topic herself or hiding in a hole. Being transgender is not a road for the lite hearted it will hurt you right down to your core. If you can try and have someone you love and loves you there to pick your pieces. Your wife is perfectly placed for this, but she is also perfectly placed to crush you. I am not saying explode all at once on her and scare her even more. More then likely if you can seek outside help (ie sympathetic marriage counselor), even better use your womanly whiles and make her think it is her idea. Use baby steps, and leading, never push it will not work. If you want ask and we will try and help.