Thank you for the bravery of sharing your story. I know what you did was very hard, surviving in this world is a difficult experience and at times you have to do the hard things.
The part in your story about visiting your grandparents really struck a cord with me. That is what I live with everyday. My Dad has dementia so I can’t dress as myself in my own house. My wife and I moved in to help with my Dad and 3 months later I had a revelation that I am Elizka.
Aging family with memory problems come with their own host of emotional qanderies for their families even without adding a trans persons emotional needs to the mix. In the community who else has experienced this? How has it made you feel? What solutions have you come up with?
Have you been in the company of a family member with memory issues while transitioning?
Yes, I live with my Dad who has FTD Dimentia (early onset, can’t be slowed or revered)
has it made you feel?
Every day is a lie. I have to hide it all the time almost.
What solutions have you come up with?
I work from home so I made my office my safe girly place. Pink lights, space themed, totally awesome. It’s a place dad never goes. I use this chance to dress as much as me as I can, and when I walk away from the office I either have on clothes that can pass as male or have male clothes ontop of my correct clothing. It’s not perfect, but it’s how I need to cope for now.
Thank you for your sympathy Elizka, and for sharing your story too. I’d love to be friends with you and accepted the request.
I am so sorry for your Dad, and for the pain his situation causes you too. I think you are an amazing woman to be this caring and sensitive to his needs.
Unisex clothing outside your office sounds OK… after all, this is what many cis-women wear most of the time. Perhaps you could also style your hair in a way which puts you just on the femme side of the male/female divide… but since your Dad is used to seeing a son, he’ll continue to see that (even if you don’t).
It’s not great I know, but perhaps would make you a bit happier in yourself xx