Reply To: My Rollercoaster Ride

Sophie Bourne


Elizka, Thank you for sharing your experience and journey.

I’m glad you had a good experience at the hair salon, and it must have been really nice finally  being treated as yourself by a sympathetic stylist.

I’m really sorry about what then followed. It must be so difficult for you, but at least you feel free to talk here. Which is good. Your wife does sound really wonderful, understanding and supportive, and she must love you very much. So hard to see her in pain like that.

I know you are playing a major caring role for your dad (and mum) right now: being a caring, devoted daughter, which is especially hard when your dad can’t acknowledge you as a daughter. And it sounds like you have financial pressure too.

But, hon, the arrangements are strangling you and your lovely wife too. They are stopping both of you being happy.

Your wife is crying for help. I fear – maybe – that she will at some point decide to leave, even if you don’t. That would be totally tragic. I do remember some horribly painful conversations with my ex, where she talked about how unhappy she was, and how she’d have to leave. And I never took it seriously… until she did leave.

I know none of this is easy… and my domestic arrangements post divorce and pre transition are not in the least bit straightforward either. So whatever you do, you’re probably managing better than me.

But one thing is clear to me: you have a totally loving and giving heart. Whatever you do, do let it reflect the deepest and most earnest love of that heart. And be yourself xx

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