Reply To: ever doubted you were transgender?

Sophie Bourne


Hi… not really in doubt since I was 19 (when I first read Caroline Cossey’s autobiography, and realised “that’s me”). But I’ve tried to deny myself, repress myself, or just live ignoring my needs so much over the years. And sometimes I almost forgot.

At the moment, my really massive doubt is whether I should be transitioning … the timing just seems absolutely, bizarrely, terrible. How could I possibly have picked this month and this year, of all my years, to come out and start to transition? I must be absolutely insane … the medical, therapy, and social support has just vanished all around me as soon as I needed it. And loads of people are dying; how could I possibly be this vain and this selfish?

Paradoxically, transitioning to womanhood just seems such a selfishly “male” thing to do … “Hey, look at me, I don’t care about anyone else; it’s all about me”. Something that a loving, caring woman would never do now. So I’m stuck.

All in all, I think a bit of self-doubt right now is perfectly natural. For any of us.

Love, Sophie xx


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