Hi Hon,
You have gotten plenty of good advice here so far so I will keep it simple. Two Spirited individuals dating back to the American Indians were highly respected people and I would dare not make a diagnosis as to your “condition”, but I would strongly suggest a “Gender Therapist” who can help you to work thru your emotions and come to an understanding as to who you are.
I am a transexual woman on HRT and now beginning surgery. I knew since I was a child but I stuck my female feelings deep inside and tried living as a guy for too long. I was miserable to keep it simple being a guy and I eventually crashed and burned. Alot has happened in my life in the last 3 years but the best thing I did for myself was to accept the fact that I am a woman. I now live and work as a female and cannot wait for the day that nothing about me is male any longer.
Find a good Gender Therapist in your area, You will be so happy you did!!