It takes a lot of energy to suppress very powerful feelings. It is energy that could be put to much better use.
There are 2 parts to this. One is admitting to yourself that you are different from what you originally thought or different from the expectations placed on you.
The other is hiding in such a way as to avoid additional scrutiny in order to prevent being found out.
The less you invest in trying to keep the lies in place is very helpful. You are not living under the weight of posturing in order to try to please others and maintain the facade. However, as you begin to jettison that baggage, most wonder why they didn’t do it sooner.
The choice is very clear. Continue to put effort and worry into who knows what or begin to live the life that you are destined to live.
As a byproduct, when you come out on your own terms, you get to tell your story, your way. If you get outed by someone, you lose the narrative; you lose the ability to tell your story. Rarely will others know enough to tell your story as you would tell it. Instead, people fill in the blanks with whatever BS that pops into their minds.
Done there, been that…