Im so sorry that you have suffered just because you are expressing who you really are. I have been in the closet my whole life, still am, but am starting to open the door. Im in my mid-forties and have lots to lose and am really scared. People like you are my HEROs, and I sincerely mean that. I truly hope everything starts to get better for you. You will find there are many wonderful people on this board– I have only been on here for a few days and I am so grateful for some new friends Ive found who actually get me. Please let me know if you ever want to talk- I work alot, but will try to make time!