Reply To: ever doubted you were transgender?


Thank you for this question Annette.

I voted no, because I’ve never experienced doubt about my psychological sex, i was just grateful to find out i could do something about it that aligned with my self image.

However, many trans people do experience doubts about transitioning, and that doesn’t make you any less trans. Transition is a BIG DEAL. you should question your motives, you should analyze your feelings, and you should be sure you are doing the right thing.

You stated you might be doing this to make your life easier. It won’t. It will make your life much harder. Society expects more from women than it does men, and you lose the privileges men enjoy- like being taken seriously by men, or feeling safe walking alone at night. You also receive the stigma related to being trans if you are read as trans.

Before I started my transition i asked a ton of questions about what i could expect if i came out, and the answers i received indicated that i had to be prepared to give up everything- not just stuff, but my job, possibly my home, people too- family, friends, coworkers.

I couldn’t transition until these losses became acceptable, when the dysphoria outweighed the possible losses. But i was already at the point where i had a gun to my head because i thought i could never really be a woman and it was transition or die. I was encouraged to choose life.

I lost my job, and therefore my home. I lost friends. I was lucky when it came to family and they stuck by me even though they didn’t understand. was it worth it? HELL YES! It was worth it in every way- toxic people dropped out of my life to make way for new relationships, and i was faced with a world i had never imagined possible.


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