Doubt. Wow. I have it almost daily. I have the same experience as you. I don’t remember ever “wishing to be a girl.” I loved being with girls; I had friend when I was 4 or 5 who played dress up with me. And later I sneaked wearing moms’s bra, panties, whatever. Never had a girlfriend in high school, always felt different, though. Was married, 28 yrs, no kids, widowed. Now at 63 gender dysphoria comes back, although it never left. I had this “secret” always. Now, I’ve accepted myself, trying to love myself. I do, most days. But will it all be worth it. The cost of hair removal (a practical thing I know, but…). The cost of loss of family and friends (maybe). So some things, the doubt, are in my head. Some are to far out in to the future. One day at a time, right?
So many insightful and heartfelt comments to this post. Thanks to everyone for sharing. I cherish all of you.
Peace and love, JaiymeLynne