Your story was heartbreaking to read. It seems to be the story of many us.
I’m so sorry your wife is so unbending and angry. From what you shared, it seems like your life literally depends on your transition. If that is the case, your wife needs to accept that, as do you. Otherwise the consequences would be awful.
I wish I was a fairy godmother, wave a wand and make it a happy ever after story.
Be strong for yourself and your kids. I hold you in my heart.