Rune (interesting name, by the way):
We are either trans or we are not. We don’t “become” and this is also true for gay people. But, often it requires peeling the onion, so to speak, in order to get to our real truth. For some of us, and myself included, the real truth comes after years, sometimes decades, of denial and avoidance.
There are MANY people who never have any sort of affirmation surgery for various reasons. Some of the reasons are: money (assuming that you have approvals, but have no insurance coverage and cannot self-fund), can’t take 6 weeks off work or from being a caregiver for someone for recovery, being in a high risk category for surgery or a desire not to have a fairly invasive surgical procedure. However, not of that has anything to do with what you feel psychologically. Some time ago I read that only about 30% of trans people have affirmation surgery.
I don’t know of any specific web sites, but I do know there are a number of FTM Facebook pages. That might be a good starting point…