Reply To: Hi I’m Chloë

Jamie Harris


Hello Chloe

I am glad that your wife is understanding and accepts you as you are.  I tried to tell my wife that I am the same inside and only the outside has changed but she never accepted that premise. I told her that because that was what I had read. Before HRT I was cold and distant and I would not let anyone know the real me. But after 8 months on HRT I knew the inside had changed a lot also.  I am open and caring and much more compassionate. So I feel like I am a much better person. But with my wife it has not changed anything; she only looks at the outside. Therefore, the reason for the divorce after a 23 year marriage.

You have been very open to your wife. After everything you have shared don’t you think that she can see where you are headed?  Society on the other hand is a lot less forgiving. Do you live in a small town or in a city?

I could tell you my trans story but it would take a long time. My life has been hard; not as hard as some trans girls that I have known though. Do you use Facebook? If so you could connect to my profile and see everything I have written.

I really feel like you could use a trans friend that has gone through all of this before; I can be that person if you like. I don’t feel like a mentor because that would mean that I am wise and know everything you should do or not do. But I will try to be a good friend for you.  I can also be an encourager for you, although sometimes I feel like I need as much encouragement as the trans people I am trying to help. I started trying to help a trans girl in southwest Louisiana that had not come out yet and I thought that I was helping her. But then she became my BFF and so now we help each other.

After I came out to my wife we stayed together for 3 1/2 years as we tried to work everything out. We had frequent discussions about trans issues. I did not live as my true self during that time because it made it difficult for her.  If I was going out to meet other LGBT friends I would dress as female. I did dispose of all of my male clothes after the first 6 months though.   We all should be cautious in our current society but if our friendship works out I would be open to changing over to texting in addition to using this site. I would be able to be much more responsive to anything you have going on.

Last year I sensed that the purpose of everything I had gone through as trans was to be able to help other trans girls that were struggling. After a year of knowing my BFF I realized I had vacated my purpose of being a trans encourager.  She is the only person that I have known that I would place into a category of a best friend and so I had focused all of my effort on our relationship.  Now I realize that I need to open myself up for more trans people.  If you use FB and want to connect you should be able to locate me under my name of Jamie Renee Harris.

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