Reply To: What can happen when you accept yourself

Jamie Harris


We hope for the best when we come out to our families and start our transition. Most of us have rampant gender dysphoria and as much as we hoped to be able to contain it because of our fear about losing the acceptance and love of family and friends our real self has said no, I will not stay in the closet anymore.  Many of us have been married for a long time and have kids that are grown or close to it.

If our families ask us what we want and if we answer truthfully, unconditional love is the only answer. Like myself; married to my wife for 20 years before I came out. All I asked for was unconditional love and I like many of us did not get it. And we begin to think about those 20 years and everyday that our spouse said they loved us. And then we realize that the only thing that we wanted all along was to be loved for our true selves.  When we don’t get the love and acceptance we expected what do we do? We get sad and many of us fall into depression. But depression is not the right answer; we need to embrace the new transgender family that we are now a part of; that is where the love and acceptance will come from. And then maybe one day those we thought loved us unconditionally will realize that we had no choice but to transition and the unconditional love we thought was there all along rises to the surface.

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