I debated whether I should tell my wife I started hormones. If I asked her I knew she would say no. If I did not ask her and she found out she would probably feel betrayed. But for my own health I needed to start the hormones.
After our second child she wanted me to have a vasectomy. Apparently the urologist cut too much and I have only had a barely detectable amount of Testosterone for 17 years. Once it was discovered I started taking Testosterone injections which I did until I finally accepted myself as trans 4 years ago. I was also having uncomfortable side affects to the Testosterone injections. I went three years with no Testosterone and only an average male level of Estrogen until I started HRT 16 months ago. Gender dysphoria was really bad and for my health I made the decision to start HRT.
My wife finding out I started HRT was traumatic but it did not end our marriage. Finally 2 months ago she decided that a straight female could not be married to a lesbian trans female. Only you can look at your situation and make that decision.