I think that every trans girl has a slightly different version of what happened when they tried to take their SO along for the ride. When I originally came out to my wife I told her that I knew she had not signed up to be married to a trans girl and if she wanted a divorce I would understand and not get angry and bitter over it. For the first two years following that revelation she thought I was going to continue dressing in my room. Even though I tried to tell her that would not be the case. When I started HRT it was six months before I told her. That was when she started taking me seriously and she increased her pressure on me to not transition. I had provided her with all sorts of resources about transition from the beginning. Now 3 1/2 years after I came out to her the divorce is almost final. And the fears I had about being alone have not come to pass. I have made many more significant friends in the trans community and they are actually supportive and not confrontational about my transition.
Gender dysphoria did progress to a higher level after I came out and for the next year and a half until I had gotten several months into HRT. There were many times early on that I wished I could put GD back into a box and not transition. Once I got the right hormones into my system life stabilized. But GD continued. The early stages of transition were the worse when my hair was short and I had not worked out the right makeup look. And I had not yet developed the right matching clothes. Now 1 1/2 years into HRT I look female enough to blend into the background when I am in public. Which is what we mostly desire. Starting HRT at age 63 is not going to allow a trans girl to look like she is an 18 year old beauty queen. A lot of blending in is being comfortable in our own skin. Go to the store and look around at the older women. Most are frumpy looking with house clothes on. When we try to look nice we look better than most of them.
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