Reply To: Well this is confusing…


Sorta getting overwhelmed with the replies you got but I’ll add my two cents. I suffer gender dysphoria every day. I am just starting to look at this whole gender thing. Growing up, a boy who liked girl things was labelled as gay. I am and never have been gay. There was always this wish that I would open my eyes and be a girl rather than the boy I was. However, growing up, you never expressed those thoughts. I didn’t crossdress in secret like many people on here. I tried to be one of four boys. I grew up and joined the military. I found out that in the Canadian military, they would pay for your transition because certain provincial medical plans covered it. By that time I was so programmed with the idea that someone who had a sex change was a freak, that I couldn’t consider it. I sure couldn’t talk about it. Time went on and I got married to an incredible woman. She introduced me to wearing clear nail polish as a way to stop biting my nails. One day I was suggesting a colour for her to try and she told me if I wanted that colour, I should wear it. She wasn’t going to. She said she didn’t care if I wore coloured nail polish. I bought it to prove her wrong. I now have several colours I love to wear. This has gone one small step at a time to where I am now. I have a pair of breastforms, some bras, high heels and skirts. Because I have never specifically expressed the desire to be a woman, she thinks this is a new hobby and is waiting to see if I will move on to another hobby when I get bored of it. I promised her I wouldn’t look at anything permanent for a year. How does this answer your question about dysforia? Well, I still have my beard. I look down and see a great pair of legs, breasts (even if I know they are not real yet) and then I see my face in the mirror and hate what looks like. Girls don’t wear full beards as a rule. I have the beard because my face is very asymmetrical and it covers a lot of that. My wife prefers men in beards than shaved. As I am not hurrying this process, I still have the beard. My face doesn’t fit my body. I get dysforia every time I see my reflection. My only comfort is I know it isn’t permanent anymore.

That came out a lot longer than I planned. I hope it gave you some comfort to know you are not alone.

2 users thanked author for this post.

©2021 Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa | Affiliate

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.