Hi, Tony, and welcome to Heaven. I’m glad you found us. Many parts of your story are so familiar, and I think a lot of others here would agree. I think you will find a lot of support here on the site. I agree with DeeAnn in looking for an LGBT center or support group near you. Google search shout give you a listing in your area.
Please, take the time to explore the sire, read the forums and articles me, join in the chat, and by all means, ask questions. I know from experience how difficult it can be sorting out the issues. I would point out one silver lining….you’ve been juggling this for 30 something years; you have the stamina to keep exploring a little longer in order to learn the answers to your questions/concerns. While it a good chance nobody can answer them for you, a little while spent talking it over won’t be wasted time.
Make yourself at home here and take advantage of what the site has to offer. I wish you well in your adventure, and hope for the best for you in the coming year.
Peace and love Carly