Reply To: I’m new to this


My name is Damian. I am 31, in law enforcement and recently identified as male. I am taking things slow because I don’t know what I’m going to do with my career and life. My family is religious and conservative so I haven’t told most of them yet, but I have a friend who know and support me, as well as one sister who already knows. I know little to nothing of this world, having been raised away from it and living away from it my entire adult life up until now. Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.

Hi Damian and welcome to Transgender Heaven. I am also 31 years old (I turn 32 next month) and identify as a male. I think I can relate to you as far as knowing hardly anything about the world and living away from it. I am very reclusive and withdrawn.

Unlike you however, I do not have a job. I never worked before. Not in a real career like yourself. I worked a temp job in a mental facility. That’s it. I also can highly relate to you when you say that your family is very religious and conservative. Mine’s I think would have more of an understanding and acceptance of someone being gay than transgender.

I just wanted to point out that you aren’t alone in this. I hope you find the support you’re looking for here, as I have found. Very nice folks here, as I am sure there are many more who can identify themselves with your situation too.

Not to be negative but I sometimes find myself trying to reject my own transgender identity. Do you struggle with this too? I think it is a form of extremely internalized transphobia/homophobia that I have from being influenced too much by other people and religion in the past.

I live with a very transphobic/homophobic brother that calls every thing he dislikes “gay” and says that people who identify as the gender opposite of their birth sex as being deceivers, that they are not who they say they are, and that they are actually their birth sex no matter what.

I wish I could be comfortable with who and what I am, but I am not. I am a confused mess. I’m sorry to say this but I wish I was a normal, cisgendered woman. I hope you are firm in your identity as a man. I want to be also. Good luck on your journey.



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