I find myself rejecting it sometimes too. I’ve lived as a woman denying the male side of me since I was a teenager, it’s hard to accept it. As a child, I was a total boy and my parents didn’t care how I was, but as I got older, I was treated badly for dressing like a guy and told I looked like a “dyke”. It gave me very low self esteem at the time. As I got away from home, I was more comfortable as myself but I still identified as a woman, just didn’t dress like one. Obviously I do not get many dates like this, but I am happier alone. Now I notice when I identify as a male, I am much happier. The only homophobic person in my family would be my father, and he is in his mid 70s, and he’s racist and every other stereotype of a late in life white man.
May I suggest if you can afford it, talking to a therapist? I’m finding it very beneficial to me. I’m not using insurance and they’re online and affordable if you know where to look. My therapist is helping me get comfortable identifying as a male and easing into the life.