Reply To: Being served buying clothes as a transgender woman

Boyce Coe

If I still Identified as a woman and worked in retail, I would gladly help you find anything you wanted or needed. In fact, I would have considered it an honor. I hate reading about the hateful and prejudice and judgmental responses that some of your repliers and yourself have had. There is definitely a cultural and societal norm difference between a “man (cis or passing  or transitioned” calling saying, “Listen here, bitch…” to a woman vs a “woman (cis, passing, or transitioned)” saying “listen here, bitch…” to another female. I can see why it would be an awkward situation based upon that alone…

Now that I am legally male on drivers license, birth certificate, and with SSA, even though I still get those looks “is that a guy or a girl,” I have to catch myself from saying to a judgmental woman, “what the f*** are you looking at bitch,” because I don’t want to be charged with harrassment or any other charge. I think going into the men’s department and trying on clothes in the men’s dressing room is kind of like women using the men’s bathroom stall, when the line for the women’s restroom is too long, so there is less judgement, or at least that is my thought process. If a man were to confront me in some way about it, I’d just tell him to f*** off. However, it is socially acceptable for a person viewed as a women to make comments like that, regardless of the other party’s gender identity, to the other person. The hypocrisy in this socially incongruent act between was is socially acceptable for women but not for men seems more reflective of the imbedded fear within our society that is based upon archaic notions of chivalry; not to say chivalry is bad, but that it is not appropriate in every context.

I definitely think, based on this alone, would make a “bio man” experience more negative feedback and judgement while buying women’s clothing for “himself (as perceived by others),” than it would be/is for a “bio female” to buy men’s clothing for “herself (as perceived by others)”.

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