It is good that you found us. Many here have faced the same decision. I would hope that you seek professional help in sorting through this as the human mind resists change very strongly. All kinds of things will present themselves as a way to minimize and changes in your life. A professional can help to navigate through things and help maintain focus.
When we talk about change, think about how when we have a difficult situation that needs a decision or you must talk to a person you don’t like. We often invent ways to delay, or even avoid, the situation.
Also, I encourage you to complete your Profile page as best you can. It is a great help to other members to understand how you are doing and how you want to progress.