Reply To: Are you “Transgender” or “Woman” (or “Man”)?

[Loki Samudratira]

Like so many of you, I just want to get to a point that I don’t have an uphill battle to openly be a woman in society.  However, I have a backstory that I will not be able to erase and biological markers that won’t go away.  So, where I want to be at is accepted as a binary woman but not have to fear for my life every time a friend finds out that I might not have been born a woman.
I haven’t started transition for reasons not under my control at the moment, but I plan to.  The journey to me is affirming and celebrating my unfolding as a woman.  But, the truth of the matter is, no matter how happy I may be, I will be a trans-woman.  Even with the GD right now and all the huge chaos realizing myself as a trans-woman has been and will be, I wouldn’t throw that away.  I’m me and expressing myself, little bit by little bit.  I don’t want to hide things, but I don’t want to flaunt it either.  I didn’t choose to be trans, but I do choose to heal and be wholy myself, which comes with an acceptance that I will leave “footprints” of my transformation.  It’s already cost me some friends and plenty of initial hardship. I don’t have to create more unnecessarily but I am not going to be ashamed of me.
That sounds bolder and braver than I feel, but I see no better choice than to embrace me, accept that I am a different woman than those born as one and live as the best woman I can be!

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