In the early stages I felt a lot of shame and guilt. It was about when I turn 30 and my 1st wife left me. I had a rejuvenation and a kind of reincarnation. It popped in my head “WTF, why all this over clothes, they just clothes and who in the hell is she.” and as soon as I said that. It was like all the guilt and shame left me. That very next day, I went on a shopping and let the girl in me out and shopped till I was broke.
It was such a rush to let them demons go. I was finely to be feel to be me, the real me. No more purging, no more hiding, no more shame and best thing of all. All that pent-up guilt was gone.
I was truly free