Hi Rainie, welcome to the site!
I think this is a common concern among almost all people. I believe it’s important to remember that even the most beautiful cis person feels their appearance is flawed in some way and is envious of some physical traits of others. Often the feeling of despair over not being able to have the kind of physical appearance we desire the most can lead to frustration and depression. These feelings can be amplified in a transgender person’s case.
In my case, I just treat the feeling of not being able to physically measure up to my own ultimate ideal as just one of the many difficult truths of life. As much as I may want it, I don’t have a magical wand to turn me into a genetic female and replace everyone’s memories of me from before with memories of me as I always was inside. The important thing for me is to focus on the present and accept what is. I try to look at the many truths of life as things that need to be dealt with and ultimately accepted, not endlessly fought and struggled with.
