I think working with a therapist can be very beneficial. Some here may discount it, but the thing is that we cannot counsel ourselves. The human mind will go to great lengths to keep things low key and avoid stress and change. Considering transitioning is not low key, not a way to avoid stress and requires change.
So, yours is a common story here. There are no shortcuts. We all need to work through our issues piece by piece. There are no points for speed or style. The important thing is to figure out how to be ourselves.
Also, please complete your Profile page when you have time. It is a good way for others to understand what’s going well, what’s not going so well and what your goals are.