I can so relate to your story. It was similar to my early life; I knew in 1977 (aged 5) that I didn’t fit as my birth gender but didn’t know why. I was too young to articulate how I felt but took every opportunity to wear female clothes, mostly my mum’s.
My parents ruthlessly cracked down on this, by today’s standards I was abused. No one ever took the time to talk to me and find out why. I was forced to repress my feelings, not only due to family but I grew up when Aids was in the news and there was a lot of homophobic abuse around. I suffered it as I was not interested in chasing girls (I felt like I should have been one).
After multiple nervous breakdowns, I decided in 2017 that I was done pretending I was male. Tomorrow, Feb 14th, is my 4 year Trannyversary. I’ve been living and dressing as a woman ever since. I am nowhere near so stressed, don’t need my anxiety meds so much, am sleeping better and I have a wonderful circle of supportive friends who totally accept me as female.
Transitioning was the best decision I’ve made for my own well being. Most of my family accept my decisioñ, it’s only my mum who still disapproves but she’s on her own now.
Enjoy the journey, it’s a wonderful one to explore yourself and your feelings. Welcome to the sisterhood xx