Reply To: When did you start to suspect you needed to transition

Stacy Ann May

Just starting to come to terms with being transgender was a long, difficult road. There was a lot of confusion, a lot of denial, and more purges than I can count. Even the times when I resolved to try and accept it for good didn’t stick. I didn’t even really know what it meant to accept it. I had no real mental strategy except denial and repression for decades, so “accepting” it was almost entirely foreign to me. Around five years ago I started attending a local gender support group, but after a few months regressed and purged again.

Anyway, about two and a half years ago two things happened in my life related to being transgender. I don’t really want to go into detail about them, because I’m not proud of myself. But they made me realize that I had completely walled off this section of my identity and compartmentalized it in an unhealthy way. I just wasn’t being honest with myself if I didn’t try to make another serious effort to accept it on a positive level rather than ineffectively confronting it with negative approaches and repressing it.

So, I started researching online, found this site and another local support group, and have been working to mentally and socially transition.

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