Reply To: When did you start to suspect you needed to transition

[Cathy]

When I was a teen, I had dreams that I was a girl. They scared me but I also liked them. I knew that I had to repress all those feelings, I could tell no one. That was in the 1970’s. In the 1980’s I started hearing stories of men who had gender changing operations and I was curious, but I married young and we started having children. My first wife would have never understood my thoughts about this so more repression. After my marriage ended in divorce, I started therapy and reading self help books. I also started meditation. I started to get in touch with myself and had some glimpses of my inner self. I met a wonderful woman and we married. Early in our marriage, I told her about my dreams when I was a teen and that I was starting to think that I should have been born a girl. She understood and we agreed that I would try some crossdressing. As our kids started to grow, all of our privacy ended in our house and my dressing was put on the back burner. The kids are finally grown and moved out. I started some deep introspection and was finally able to accept my true desires and my true self. I knew what I wanted for myself and who I really wanted to be.