Sad to read about what’s happening for you and your wife. I guess the only thing to say is that we can only do the best we can with the situation that has been presented to us. My wife suffered a spinal cord injury in 2008. Her mobility is primarily via a wheelchair and she is still driving, but I do understand the concept of dealing with chronic illness as it applies to both of us.
Having elders here is always a good thing in my estimation. We provide information based on observation and experience. That is helpful because we are less likely to be driven by the impatience of today and it is easier for us to prioritize, categorize and see parallels. Usually it is insight that can’t be found otherwise.
All My Best,