Really like what you’ve said Jemma. I was in a relationship with a gay man for about four years before both he and I realized that I just wasn’t versatile in the way that most gay men evolve in their sexual relationships. I always felt I was this submissive woman, and while I loved the sex with this man, the issue ultimately came down to gender. He always wanted to be and was drawn to masculine. He wanted hairy and sweat, and all I wanted was to be hairless and smell like a rose. Ha Ha.
What transpired was maybe the best thing that ever happened to me. This gay man said to me, “I love you and I want you to be happy. Be who you need to be. I’ll support you a 100%.”
It was the first time in my life I didn’t feel like a part of me had to exist in secret.
What I see clearly today is my gender is it’s own island. It needs to express itself, and while it may help define my orientation, it doesn’t need a sexual relationship to exist. I finally feel secure in who I am. So grateful for this relationship. Taught me everything I need to know.