You are right. This is a scary deal. There is no question about that. However, it sounds like you have come to the understanding that being scared is exceedingly preferable to a life of sadness and depression. That is an important step! I definitely wish you the best regarding your journey. It is important to know that this site is about community. We put considerable effort into making this a safe and non-judgemental place. Very good of you to drop in and I trust it will be helpful for you.
I see that you are from the UK. I believe it is the 2nd largest member concentration after the US. You can search for other UK members by clicking on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
Also, please complete your Profile page. It is a great starting point for other members to get to know you and understand how your journey is going. Remember that it can be edited at any time as things change.