Reply To: Settling Into Our Lives…

#94959

Hi DeeAnn ,

When I transition in my early/late 20’s it was one awesome journey I must say . I really didn’t ID my self as transgender or even transsexual but as female . Even before I went for my surgery in 2005 and I still do . I present myself as female ,even on forums which now seem to have more options now for ID ‘ing your gender .

Never had any troubles blending in with cis-gender females or within society . Even with men which was a surprise . Living in a very conserv society and government ( Red Necks ) I had a lot of males friends which protected me . Even after being back on my hormones now , still blend in with society . I do think this is also based on your Attitude and how people perceive you . So I also made sure when I left the house I looked my best and sharply dressed to suit the powers at be . I still do to my hair and make-up everyday . I do get overwhelmed with compliments on my looks and my out look on life with questions as to who I’m .

I’m not part of the trans community in my area , this was a negative experience for me and an eye opener . I was dissed because of my looks , the males always hitting on me and few of the females . I have meet a few other individuals starting their journeys or on their way , but again I get dissed because I’m not part of the community . So I really don’t know if I ever will be involved in the community . This part still puzzles me , regular society expected me with open arms , while the trans community did not …

As for my life turning out or what I was expecting ….NO ! My plan was make the transition and live my life , continuing dating get married and have a wonderful life . I did not expect to get sexually assulted which had a huge negative impart on my life has turned it all up down . This left me in a state of just existing not having and emotions towards anything . Always in a mind state of numbness and I carried this for 13 years . Covid  has for me opened up feelings and emotions which I don’t want to face at all . However I have no choice but to confront them . For me I find this to be positive for over the past 2 and 1/2 months I’m finally regaining who I’m , rediscovering myself with a totally different mind set I starting to love myself again in ways I never did before .

In all though it really hasn’t been a better or worse . I’ve meet some fasinating people along my travels and adventures and now it’s time for a new chapter in my life start with many new adventures waiting to happen .

 

Terri-Alexis

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