Happy that you found us! I’m sure that what you describe has happened to others here. It is sort of an Approach/Avoidance conflict. We know it is something that we should do, but it is hard to break through the barrier.
Anyway, we work hard to keep this a peaceful place so that people can do what they need to do. I will never say that it will be easy for you, but it is a very important journey.
Please complete the rest of your Profile page. It is a good way for others to learn about you and what’s happening. The page can be updated at any time as things change, unlike regular posts which are locked shortly after you submit them.