Yes I do know what you mean. I’ve spend the longest time questioning my gender, but then more or less immediately dismissing it from my mind. I didn’t understand, still don’t fully. But like you I’ve dedicated myself to looking after the people I care about in my life and as rewarding as that is, I’m left feeling like I’m missing out.
I’m still new in this journey and by no means Claim to be an expert, but life’s to short to live miserably, life’s to short to live in the shadows everyday of your life. Although this journey is necessary it is scary, it is bit overwhelming at times of I think about it tooo much. I try to employ the ‘don’t think, just do’ approach. It helps to an extent, but I also try to be mindful of the impact that it’ll have. But thinking too much is a recipe for driving yourself nuts, lol.
“Don’t think, just do, and be you” *big pink hugs*