For my unprofessional opinion, I think sometimes it comes to us that our time here is finite. Realizing that, are we the person that we should be? If not, what needs to change? Mid-life crisis is often about recapturing our youth and it doesn’t seem that this is your thought process.
Anyway, many here have found that seeing a therapist, who is experienced in gender identity issues, to be very helpful. It isn’t uncommon that we try to avoid thinking about things that have the potential for upsetting our current lives. The brain tends to be about reducing stress, minimizing change and trying to keep us safe. Clearly reconsidering our gender identity raises the possibility of life altering actions. It should come as no surprise that it is difficult for us to think about these things, in a useful way, on our own. A therapist won’t solve it for you, but they will keep you focused on what you need to think about.
Thanks for being very thorough with your Profile page. It’s an important document as it sort puts a stake in the ground as to where things sit. Also, the page can be updated at any time when something changes. Regular posts are locked shortly after they are submitted.
As you read various threads and communicate with other members, you will find that there are many who have been where you are now or in the midst of similar situations. What that does is highlight the fact that you are not alone in dealing with these issues.