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Thanks to all that have worked to create this site to allow transgender people a safe place to share and discuss our life experiences and help others who are working through some of the same or similar issues.
My story is the same as many of yours. I am a transgender woman. For many years I knew that I did not feel right in my skin. I was/am more comfortable with the thought of being a woman, than I ever was a man. However growing up in a conservative town with a fairly conservative family I chose to suppress my feelings until I moved out. Then I was able to cross dress, which brought me a sense of peace. However it didn’t take long and I would start to feel quilt and shame and immediately change back into guy clothing. This has gone on for 25 years.
Over the past couple of years I have realized that I need to learn to overcome my shame, guilt, and fears and discover my true self. Over the past few months I have spent some time reflecting on the first 44 years of my life and realized that I have never been depressed about my life I have also isolated myself from the world in which I live. As a result I don’t have many friends and don’t go out and socialize, which is not a healthy way to live.
Rather than overthinking things my plan is to find a gender therapist and start working through all of my issues with shame and guilt. I am not sure I can ever completely overcome my fears. In doing this I truly hope to get guidance and develop a healthy and realistic plan to transition.
Thank you all who took the time to read this.
Chrissy
Thanks. The whole thing is scary but no matter what comes in the future, it is one of life’s big moments so it should be scary.
Hi Crissy Sounds like you have a plan. That is a good thing. I am sure you have done a lot of work just to get to this point in your life.
The woman here vary from teen to mid seventies. We have pretty much similar stories. That in itself is amazing. We represent three generations if not four. We are still fighting for recognition that what we are dealing real.I do understand that society wants everything to be simple and clean but it is not. You are not alone in your struggle . I like you have a plan. Mine is little more fluid. I want to be whole as all of us do. Just the thought of changing my gender in realty is very exciting but scary. I believe that is what it is going to take for me to be happy. I never would of thought when I began this journey that is what it going to take for me. You are among nice people who only want to help by sharing and learn by reading. This does not have to be scary when there are people here can shed light by sharing how they dealt with their scary darkness.Please enjoy your awareness of self. You are a special woman luv Stephanie
Hi Chrissy,
A big Welcome and Thank you for opening your feelings to all of us. Your story is so much like my own!! I knew at 5 years of age, told my conservative family but they had no understanding or sympathy and still don’t. I wasted many years to hiding behind a mask I created, drank too much alcohol and took drugs to quiet the pain. Now at 58 y/o I am finally beginning to live my dream!! I have been on HRT and living/working as a woman since last April and hope and prey for surgery.
What I can say is that if I did it you can too!! When I finally decided to see a gender therapist I had just begun to x-dress 3 months earlier after a 23 year absence and was sitting on the foot of my bed with a 9mm pointed to my head. It can seem like it is all impossible but it’s really not. You first need to let go of that guilt and shame and begin to accept yourself for who you are. I’m sure your a very good person who just needs a helping hand right now.
Please, anytime you need to chat, my door is always open and don’t be shy!!
Hugs, Bree
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