A personal welcome to TGH from the Original Cyn

This topic contains 8 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  Gloria Upjohn 5 months ago.

  • Creator
  • #619

    Cynthia S

    When I first found the Crossdresser Heaven site three years ago, I could never have imagined the difference it would make in my life. I was the stereotype of the closeted crossdresser. I would hide in my room, never dreaming of risking anyone ever finding out about this part of me. Important as it was, there was no way I could imagine letting the world know that I was anything but a “normal guy.

    I remember the fear as I signed up on the site-would I be laughed at? Would I be outed to the world? Was I the only one like me? This was the early days of the revamped site-as it changed from a personal blog site for Vanessa Law to a support site. When I first joined I was member 131, and I was scared to death. The chatroom didn’t exist yet, it was al articles, forums, and private messages. I remember my first forum post-one line-“Dipping my toes in the water-with pink nail polish”. Innocuous? Silly? Perhaps-but for someone who had never told a soul-other than my ex-wife who ultimately left me in no small part because of it-it was a HUGE leap of faith!

    What made me willing to take that leap? In a word-friends! You see, almost immediately after I joined, there was someone who reached out to me with a hello and asked me how I was doing. What was this? Someone actually cared about how I was doing? The feeling was overwhelming, and I knew now that I WASN’T alone. There were others who felt like I did. We private messaged back and forth and that friend, the Managing Ambassador Emeritus Codille Benton became my BFF-well technically, my FF (‘cause her wife is her BFF). Later the chatroom allowed us to converse “realtime”, and she and I –along with several others from those early days became fast friends. In the years since, new folks have joined –both the site and my “inner circle”. And I have watched others come to CDH and grow in their journeys as well.

    So now you’re wondering-Why is Cyn going on and on about CDH on THIS site? Well, you are in a similar position, here on Transgender Heaven (TGH). These are the founding days when the group is still small and intimate. Friendships will form and the people you start out with will be the ones you’ll likely stay closest to forever. So take the time to have those late night chats and messages. The mot work gets done NOT in crowded rooms with 20 people talking. Don’t get me wrong-those ARE great, but the REAL conversations that touch your soul are the ones between 2-5 people at one in the morning when we let out guard down and share our greatest triumphs and our setbacks, our greatest joys and our deepest fears; our tales of acceptance and our tales of rejection. Each of our journeys is the same, yet each are also unique as we figure out where our path is leading.

    Some of us here have already fully transitioned; others are in the midst; some will have medical procedures done while others for various reasons will not; still others-and this is where I fit-are uncertain how they feel about their future. I know Cyn is more than just the clothes she wears, but I don’t know if she will ever be 100% of my life either. She is part of who I am-the question is how MUCH of me she is. That’s the question I’ll be exploring-both with my counselor and –I ope with many of YOU -my friends here on TGH. Regardless of where that path leads, I am forever thankful that Vanessa is moving forward with this new site as a sister site to CDH, and that she selected one of my dearest friends Jasmine Marie to be its managing ambassador.

    I can’t wait to see where we go! Let’s make amazing memories together!


  • Author
  • #30730
     Gloria Upjohn 


    Thank you so much for the loving welcome🙏

    I am 62 so I have been trying to get a handle

    on my sexuality for a long while🤷‍♀️




    Gloria 🌸

    (Just love my name)


  • #25039

    Thanks for making me feel welcome already.  My story is very similar. I have been a closest crossdresser for many year’s now

    Now I’m ready to come out of that closest. I love dressing like a girl. I love the way I look and feel when I’m Michelle. I’m ready now I think to set her free of that silly old closet. So thank you all in advance for helping me on my journey.

  • #20934
     Terri Anne 


    Hi Cyn,

    I am just now re-reading your post and realized I did not put my thoughts down.

    Your story has many aspects that relate to my life as well. This has helped me to remember many of the good times and not so good ones. All a part of who we are.

    I remember the personal blog site that Vanessa formed. I lost track of my member I.D. So started over bt rejoining back in 2015 or 16. Of course changing my name this year meant a new start date.

    You are one of the First friends to welcome me both on CDH and then on TGH. I always look forward to rare times when we are in chat together. I am so proud to be a part of the mission of both CDH and TGH. I have growns so much since joining CDH a few years ago.

    Your knowdge and support has been a big help to me, thank You!

    -Terri Anne


    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #11638
     Danielle Fox 


    Wow Cyn, that was beautifully written. I must say that I had my first counseling session last week and I feel better after. Even though I still have questions I cannot answer in my head, heart or soul it still feels good to talk to someone who at least has some understanding. I too do not know what or where my journey will be but I have someone I love very much that I do not wish to lose. Anyway thanks for your wonderful message. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️


    4 users thanked author for this post.
  • #11630

    Thanks very much for your warm welcome. I have much to learn and I look forward to benefiting from the experience of others.


    3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #2760

    Wow, Cyn! I felt very much the same when I first ventured into coming out about who I am. Even still, a lot of people irl don’t know that I’m trans. I feel like I have to fly under the radar for now and I’m still afraid of being outed because of what that could do to my career. Thank you for being so brave and letting others like me know that we’re not alone. ❤️

    6 users thanked author for this post.
  • #758
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 

    Hi Cynthia my old friend ( well not so old) LOL. Keeping in touch as usual. Looking forward to making new relationships and helping out where and when I can.

    Dame Veronica

    Dame Veronica Graunwolf

    3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #646
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador



    This is so beautifully written, I’m so glad you live so close (even if sis is on a role when I come over).  I cherish those late night chats on here and look forward to some that are at a more sane hour with new friends here on TGH.  I remember being so timid with chat that I must have popped in 20 times for only a minute or two and even less when someone spoke to me.  Then eventually one of the moderators kicked me out to get my attention.  In a way it stung, but it made me wake up and join the conversation.  You were the welcome wagon to the introductions forum and I remember thinking “OMG, there’s actually someone like me less than an hour away.  I want to be her friend, but I sure don’t want her to think I’m on the prowl or something.”  I took a month before I was comfortable enough to take that step to meet you and you were so gracious.  I cannot thank you enough.  It’s a part of the story of my coming to terms with my real identity and cracking the shell wide open.  What is it Capn Di said later on…you took a bulldozer to your closet, Cloe.  Well you pretty much know the rest and I’ll save that for new friends.  Thank you for being you and penning your thoughts so eloquently.


    4 users thanked author for this post.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

©2019Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account