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Hello everyone, I was wandering the depths of youtube the other night at work and I came across this video. ย (Watch at your own risk)
Of course it made me cry as I have been down this road. ๐ ย Sure hope the guys at work did not see my tears.
Also my daughter who loved ninja turtles before 1st grade was made fun of for her turtle backpack by the other kids. ย As a parent I could only support her but the damage was already done. ๐ Now she does not watch turtles and spider man and her toys of this type collect dust.
Miriya
Yeah, the tears were flowing.ย Shame has built so many closets.ย My first two attempts at expressing myself resulted in shame from family then friends.ย The rest of my closet I built myself, piece by piece, to keep from feeling that shame again.ย Think I’ll go get that Barbie I never got.
Yes I always wanted one when I was little too. ย ๐ ย Funny thing is my sister always wanted legos that my parents must have spent a fortune on buying the boys but not her. She jokingly mentioned it a few times and I joked that I never got any Barbies. ย I actually bought her a set for a birthday when we got older, but I never did get my Barbie in return. ๐ The fact that I have two daughters means we do have a ton of them around the house, so by default I kind of have them. ย And I did get to play with them again when my girls were at the age as I am one of those weird parents who actually play with and talk to my kids.
Hi Miri,
I was in tears at the end. I played with Barbies because I had some girl friends who I played with when I was very young. But the part which hits me emotionally is seeing Bobby dropping Barbie and laying his head down. This just caused me to tear up because of memories which I thought long lost. I have been remembering that Iโve always been more emotional than the boys around me but kept the tears hidden well. Did either of you notice this at some point along the way? Since I figured out who I am Iโve been able to open my emotions and be more myself and feel things at a deeper level than before, all without HRT. I am sure this is more me than I have been since I was a youngster of about 5 or 6. Thank you so much for the clip Miri. Love โค๏ธ and hugs ๐ค
Danielle ๐๐I do not know if I am more emotional then the average guy or not, However I trend to think I am, and I certainly think way different then a lot of guys on a bunch of subjects, also my reactions to things are not the same. ย I cried of course when I 1st saw both Titanic and Brave Heart in the Theaters. ย ๐ I even shed tears while reading Lord of the Rings when Frodo decided to take the ring to Mordor. ๐ข I am fairly sure my guy friends did not. ย I truly love emotional movies, and find my self watching and enjoying the preverbal chick flick at rimes. And i agree with the theory, that Jenny Weasly used a live potion on Harry as there is no way he fell so hard. ย ๐
I have actually watched many a chick flick and enjoyed them but if asked before I had my epiphany I wouldnโt admit to it. Now I will admit that I enjoy them to anyone if asked. I cried during the movie Yesterday because I got sentimental about the Beatles music which my father played on his guitar. He passed in 2013 and as the oldest I remember more of his music playing than my brothers, hence my sentimentality. So I do think we have a
different thought process and emotional process than a AMAB person. Those of us who realized who we truly are later in life have subdued feminine thoughts and emotions longer so were better at it in the long run. But now the floodgates are open and everything is spilling out. Ah Frodo and Samwise on their journey into darkness. I donโt remember any tears in that series of books but I had tears when I did read one mystery romance novel. I just felt right reading that book even though it took place in England during the mid eighteen hundreds. Still emotionally I am much more open since I know I am female in this body I was born with.
Danielle ๐๐ ๐I think before my understanding I was still emotional and let them show a bit more then a normal cis male. Personally I do not think it is ok even for a grown woman to run around in tears all the time and she must hide her feelings. ย This is part of a womanโs mysterious nature. ย She knows how to laugh when she is crying ๐ข inside. ย Men just brood or sulk and it is easier to guess what he is feeling.
As little girls learn to be part of socal circles they learn to hide them selfs with in the circles as woman can be very caddie at times, and they get hurt if wearing emotions openly. ย But society keeps telling them they are emotional ย and mysterious. ย So they become more so and learn how to do it with ease.
Boys are taught to be tough little men and that they don’t feel that emotional stuff. ย So they just pack it in and do not learn how to hide in plan sight. Hence the man caves where they go. So it is actually easier to read what a man is feeling then a woman.
However it is not all societies fault as society is just a reflection of how the minds of many people work. ย So the minds and society reinforce one another and force the non-conformers into molds that do not fit.
As transgender people we have been forced but the mold is so wrong it eventually breaks and we emerge and have to craft/recraft ourselves vs have society do it for us. ย As society gets weaker in this forcing the freedom of the non-conformers will grow. ย We are like the new hippies of the 60โs, the bohemians of the early 1900โs, the romanticโs of the 1800โs and the list goes on and on back into history. Just as gays and lesbians were part of the sexual revolution, we are part of the gender revolution and really should not be lumped in the same group even if we have a lot of similarities. ย One of the main reasons why even gay people do not get us at times.
Wow, ๐ ย kind if went off topic on that didn’t I.
Back to emotional shows. ย I loved to watch Hallmark movies with my mom when I was a little kid. ย And liked a lot of the girls shows like Full House, Saved by the Bell, etc. ย Would have watched Hana Montana and the like had I been part of that generation. I was always kind of a loner, and my dad was not the most manly to force me to be so, he was a George McFly type. ย He was/is however a homophobic of the 50โs -60โs and my mom was a great house wife so I still feel into societyโs trap just in my own way.
Yes I do see how you are correct about society and the molds of male/female emotions. I also see the social circles of both and how emotionally each has different rules. Girl world would have been tougher to navigate than boy world. All the games girl world played against each other to position oneself socially and set the pecking order. Kind of like the movie โMean Girlsโ. I actually love that movie and the princess movies with Julie Andrews and many others Iโd never mention to any of the guys! I love all of the teen movies of the eighties (Jon Hughes and those types). Plus many other chick flicks.
I agree that a woman cannot run around all emotional and in tears but they are more open than men with their positive emotions like laughter, happiness, friendships, and the physical results too like hugging, touching, brushing hair out of another womanโs face, and the like. Yes men brood and it is easier to judge how most men feel by their facial signs. Men do let the more negative emotions out a lot easier than women which I am getting a better handle on myself. But men ostracize themselves from each other physically and emotionally because it isnโt manly to hug in the same way, touch in the same way, sleep in the same bed as friends.
I see how we are the next generation of outsiders becoming a norm in society, like the hippies and bohemians. I also totally agree that the LGBQ+ community doesnโt always understand the T community because they are not having a gender meltdown of a sort. A sexual orientation is not gender identity but someone with gender identity can have an other than hetero sexual orientation. I sometimes think this is what confuses many people when they think of the community as a whole which we are associated with. It is so easy to see someone who has a different than hetero sexual orientation but not easy to see someone who has a gender identity conflict.
I am so happy the DSM and the ICD are now in agreement that who we are is not a mental problem nor one that can be cured. So when we are associated with the norm and the Psych and Medical communities agree on who we are and how best to help us along with government and insurance companies whatโs next? Of course thatโs just a rhetorical question because nobody has a crystal ball ๐ฎ, lol! There are still 28 states where transgender discrimination is not against the law whether at work, housing or medical care. I live in one of those 28 states. I own my home, I work for an amazing company (childrenโs hospital), and I have great medical benefits plus so does my wife on all 3. So there are exceptions within this state. But as a whole we are still discriminated against daily, beaten and worse, denied basic human rights and some people could care less about us. This is slowly changing unless our magnificent president gets his way in which case itโs time to move to Sweden or the Netherlands where our rights are protected. There are other countries but I just love these two for their laws and people.
Time for me to get off the soapbox and close this novel, lol ๐!!!! Take care.
With love โค๏ธ and hugs ๐ค
Danielle ๐๐I didnโt play with Barbie when I was young but I did watch Full house (I had a crush on the middle sister) and Saved By the Bell. ย I didnโt know those were girl shows! ย I feel so betrayed! ย I have so much shame to make up for now! ย No but I liked this video because even if you donโt play with Barbie it appeals to most people on the level of being told you have to be a certain way because of your genitalia. ย โOh no you have a vagina so you mustnโt eat ice cream with bananas.โ ย Uhhh? ย If you tell people a lie enough times they will believe it.
I feel like since my daughter was born I am less resistant to watching shows that were traditionally for girls/women. ย I still choke on my emotions when in public. ย I hate it so much! ย I was talking to a coworker the other day about a scene in a Viet Nam War documentary and almost started tearing up. ย They were interviewing someone in the North Viet Nam Army and he said โI would see the Americans go to their dead and cry, just like us.โ ย It makes me so sad. ย Every time we send kids to kill and die they are told they are fighting the enemy but many of them realize they are fighting people that are not so different to themselves. ย But I swallowed my tears and was ashamed that I even showed emotion. ย Even telling the co-worker it was so sad made me feel ashamed. ย I hate that so much. ย Now Iโm sad, great. ย Iโm going to go listen to music and work out.
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