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No, it just depends on where you are and who is around. Kids seem to have radar, from my observation. Little ones will notice. Some time back I walked past a family and I could hear a 5-6 year Ask his mother after I had passed: “Mommy, was that a boy or a girl?”. In a very relaxed way the mother said: “It was a girl.” and never broke stride. Although I don’t have specific experience, teenagers tend no to be not so quiet. As I’ve read, some get it but others have little or no filtration regarding what they say…
It has been my expierience that little children and elderly ladies seem to notice me more when I am dressed as Michelle. Once ,while dressed as Michelle ,and dress shopping, I heard a young child ask her mother, ” Mom,where is she….he..going with those dresses”?Mom,much to her credit,said” To try them on”.Dont you love the dress SHE has on?Thanks Mom for teaching your daughter early on to respect everybody.
Hi
I live in the Chicago suburbs. I cannot pass. That being said, I have learned to go out as feminine as I can. Be it only a necklace or a dress, I act as if I fit in naturally. I think more people are starting to realize we are out there and either feel empowering to us or just don’t care. I had one experience where an older woman berated me in a store. Three others came to my side to support me. I was assured by them that all is ok with me. Society can sometimes surprise us.
Good Luck
I’ve gotten brave, in mid spring of this year, I went out dressed in what I felt most comfortable, as male, with packer in my pants. Later that day when I got home, I thought wow! No one seamed to care or give a second glance, at least not that I had noticed, is it possible the world around us is changing how they see people? maybe just maybe, we as LBGTQ community hope I got that right. Are being excepted more than not, as who we are. Or people just care? I don’t know, well I am early out, and haven’t really explored this as male in the world. I will take care in taking notice of how I am seen, after I begin hormone shots. That will be real test. You all have a great day. Stay strong happy and healthy.
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I’d say being nervous, but not acting nervous, is a defense mechanism that works to keeps us aware of situations and surroundings. The reality is that sometimes s+++ happens and hopefully we will not be caught by surprise.
That said, it does appear that often people are self-absorbed enough to not notice or notice but don’t wish to invest any effort for reacting.
Works for me…
I worried about passing in public when my hair was short and I had no breast to speak of. Now I only go out in public as a female. Of course with Covid restrictions that is usually just the grocery store or a sandwich shop. I agree with DeeAnn that most people are too absorbed with life issues to even focus on others.
Many people wear very unisex clothing these days. So when I come up behind someone in the store the first thing I usually observe is their hair; is it a female style. Then when I pass them do they have breasts. If a person fits those initial criteria then I assume they are female unless I need to talk to them for some reason and then I look closer. Also, if they look comfortable in their skin then they seldom get a second glance.
More often in public the only ones that I notice are the younger women wishing I was one of them.
What about voice? I try hard and am working on it but my voice is naturally very low pitched. Its not until I speak do I get comments.
In my journey I have noticed that most people will readily ignore other cues if they believe the person they are viewing has real breasts. As I thought about this I realized that is why women who undergo the brutal process of radical mastectomy feel so devastated and less feminine. It is also the reason I am working toward my own real breasts. That said, although they would help me “pass” that is not the reason for me. Having them would make ME feel more feminine and are a very clear, visible, statement that I am not going through a phase.
I was recently Christmas shopping dressed in jeans, calf high boots( moderate heel though) cowl neck sweater and very feminine a-line coat. And though I’m not great at makeup and don’t think I really pass AT ALL I didn’t hear any comments or notice anyone staring. Ulta was packed with women that either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The only person I really interacted with was at check out and she treated me like just one of the girls. I suppose having below shoulder length hair helps the look too.
I think life is so busy these days most people don’t have time to give a crap.
I think our voice is one of the last major hurdles we have to overcome on our path to passing as female. We get the clothes and learn to use makeup, but then our voice gives us away.
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