Being older as a transgender/cross dresser?

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    • #138588

      Older? Here? Never! What was the question again?

    • #138370

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>I am very impressed and love the fact to know of how many of us are older and coming out,It makes me feel more comfortable to know that I’m not alone, and that we would have more in common,I am new to this app,and feel very comfortable here, knowing that there are many of us thanks for all your advice.</p>

      I’ve done limited cross dressing for many years in the privacy of our own home and y wife and i were comfortable with that.  I lost her to pancreatic cancer at 68 after 50 years together, it took a while to re-orientate to a new, different life, but then the female side really started to take over me.  Now, at 75, I have quite a collection of clothes, too much if that’s possible, I’m out of closet space to keep it all, and shoes, my goodness, and spend the majority of my time as Jennifer.  I’m still working on getting the makeup thing down, the looser skin around the eyes and not so steady hands any more are a challenge for sure.  I’d guess my main thing right now is trying to control the facial stubble that can be felt already after just 3-4 hours.  The rest of my body is under control, smooth and hairless, it’s just the face (figures) that seems to be impossible to control.  I’ve even tried a laser thing which has had no effect, it seems some things we just have to deal with.   It’s never too late ladies, even at 75 I’ve met other mature cross dressers to get together with, and yes, even a few men.  It’s a great and fun journey, I love being Jennifer.  Do I wish I had gotten started earlier, definitely, but, times were quite different years ago, especially here in the deep south, and we all have to make a living and survive, so we continue to live in the shadows.  But now, being retired and alone, I can tell them all to screw off, I’m here now, and loving it.




      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #138350
      Toni Floria

      Thank you I feel the same as an older “gal”. It’s so nice to find like minded people

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #138149

      I see the love n tenderness we exchange here  n it feeds my soul..lifts my heart from the sadder thoughts of being hated, despised n believing the names my “we’ll always be there for you no matter what” family says n impies, freak, monster  trash unworthy of God’s love or another human…

      here I almost feel good again, like just a girl trying to get along n enjoy à few smiles along the way

      thank you girls


      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #137907

      I read the nice way we all try to address each other, n it gives me hope society doesn’t need to be purged with another flood…no im not dangerous just a tad depressed this week…because outside of walls like these there is so so much boggles my little mind

      thank you girls.  for love, kindness  civility. caring without judging, listening. thank you all.



      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #138198
        DeeAnn Hopings

        One thing that I don’t think the general population understands is how small the transgender population really is, here in the US anyway. Here it is about 0.6% of the population. I would suspect that other places would be similar. Here 0.6% translates to about 2,000,000 out of 330,000,000. It is interesting to note that the number of intersex people in the US is about 1.6% or nearly 3 times the trans population.

        Just some perspective…

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #138351
          Toni Floria

          Always wondered about the number of like minded people like us thanks for the info. Take care.

          2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #138144

        You are most welcome. Thanks for your kindness.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #138135

        Well, society may still need to be purged.  We just need a couple good wood workers to build us some boats XD.

        I’m also struggling with coming out as an older adult.  In a way, all the hate-mongering that’s going around wants me to come out more and shove it in their faces; but on the other hand, it has great potential to destroy my life.  My business, my family, and my friends all could disappear so easily; and then I would be left alone.  I don’t have much; but what little I have, I’m not sure I want to let go of so easily.  I live in fear; but is it fear or myself, or fear of others?

        Hope we can all find peace and happiness in our bodies, minds, and souls.  I believe we all need support from each other.

        5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #138352
          Toni Floria

          I totally agree with you it is super scary to come out. I’m going thru the same thing thanks for sharing your feelings

          1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #137960

        And if you look hard in the right places, there is also lots of love.  Keep in mind, bad news sells first so I just ignore it and dwell on the good stuff.

        6 users thanked author for this post.
        • #138002

          jill..very, good advice. thank you


          ladies, inspiring to hear we need not be 19 to transition n enjoy, as many books n vids suggest closer to 20 leads to more happiness..and like you girls  I wondered when does it simply become too late n impractical..but thankfully it seems the answer is its never to late to seek happiness. thank you girls


          hugs to all


          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #138197
            Chloe Dawn

            I’m 65 and transitioning, I think we always have to remember that these kids are young and act like thier respective ages, and we also have to consider the media is looking for shock value, and young trans kids will give it to the media in spades. At 65 I’m happy just being able to be myself after a lifetime of repression.

            5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #137963


          1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #137915

        Your Welcome,We are all in the same situation,

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #137877


      Not trying to brag, but I am told that I don’t look a day older than 60, so how old am I?  The old guy I was before I transitioned actually looked his age of 72. I’m told I must have stepped into a time machine or found the fountain of youth, as nobody believes I’m that old! My cardiologist says that by transitioning to live as a trans woman named Lauren, I’ve added another 15 years to my life! I am thrilled and will gladly take that and run with it  🙂

      Hugs girls,

      Ms. Lauren M

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #137962

        I had a similar experience with someone telling me that I was “aging backwards”. Closer to 71 than 70 but I have been told that I appear to be in my late 50’s. FTR I am hopeless at makeup and the most I ever wear is lipstick. My daughter said it best when she remarked that I might be “old” chronologically but I am not frail. My body moves differently now and I am much happier given that the dysmorphia is under control.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #137882

        Lauren, thank you for your story. I’m 68 and people are constantly telling me I look like I’m in my 50’s and a few have said 40’s. Sister, I’m right there with you.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #137876

      “Ah but I was so much older then,  I’m younger than that now.”

      Sorry about the late reply Darlene but I just reread this posting and I couldn’t resist.  I think that Dylan and The Byrds got it right years ago and these are lyrics that still guide me.  You are only as old as you think you are.

      Party on!  Marg

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #137869


      welcome darling. as the wiser women have already told you  age is a stupid number n matters very little in matters like this. hell I gave missy a birthday to confirm that, turning back father time a few years when my heels click. giggles

      I’m new at presenting missy publically  a mere 7 or 8 months  but I agree…why did I wait so long? it’s scary yes, but most people especially women have been kind n accepting, well other than family.

      i wish I had let missy out years ago  but all the more reason to enjoy her now. I hope you have a fun journey sweetie. all your sisters n gfs here are rooting for you.




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    • #137619

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>I have said for years that age is just a number for the government to keep track of you. Further, if you believe that you are getting older, you won’t be disappointed.</p>
      <p style=”text-align: left;”>Last month at our support group meeting we were discussing age and getting older. We went around guessing ages and some were somewhat easy to guess a close approximate age. I was pleased as punch that nobody even came close to guessing my age or even coming close. The oldest and closest guess I got was 58. I even gave them a clue saying I was retired. The other clue I gave was that I had been well out of the closet and a public speaker for Transgender issues at most of the colleges and universities here in Ontario for 25+ years.</p>
      Needless to say, they pretty near wet their panties when I told them I was 72. Even in a male mode without the advantage of wig and makeup, I don’t look close to my age most put me between 60 and 62 and most are surprised when I tell them I retired as a consulting engineer when I was 65.

      Many ask about my secret and my usual reply is confidence, knowledge, attitude, and good makeup. Even being out in public as long as I have, I still regret waiting as long as I did.

      I think the biggest challenge to overcome is fear and most if not all are totally without any real substance. I was once out shopping alone as a female in downtown Kingston Ontario when a group of five of my staff was walking directly in front of me. I immediately thought oh crap they have been working for me for six years sure as hell they are going to notice me. What do I do? Confidence must have kicked in as  I walked right through them without the tiniest recognition. Right then and there I recognized that if I could pass that test  I could pass anywhere and that has been the case for about 20 years beyond that incident. That also comes with a unique attitude even if I ever did get read, so it’s who I am and I am very proud of the fact.

      So to all you newbies out there let me just say that the very first time you are out and hear the sound of your heels on the sidewalk, you too will wonder just why you hid in the closet for so long.

      Michelle Renee

      St. Catharines, Ontario


      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #137823

        It’s kinda screwey with all this stuff… Our whole lives we nothing to do with “our balls” to be blunt.. but taking the first steps to embracing moving forward,the whole leaving the house dressed ironically… Lol takes balls to do.. just a funny irony

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #138083

          Maybe that’s why women just wear leggings t shirt and flip flops anymore. No balls.

          1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #138188

            Well no matter what my age I will never resort to flip-flops. They are the absolute worst thing to put on your feet. They were designed to wear when you come out of a public shower and at the beach on hot sand but every summer I see people wearing them all day out shopping etc. You can never heal the damage they do and when I see young children wearing them I feel like kicking their parents square in the ass.

            If I have faced any restriction at all as I mature, wearing 6″ heels all day is out of the question. At best you will find me wearing 3″ heels or wedge heels. I may still own a pair of 6″ stiletto heels but strictly in the bedroom. I would have to be dead before you pry a pair of 6″ Louboutin’s out of my cold hands.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #137637

        Thanks for sharing,just reading your story you can tell that you are very confident and inspiring, You bring us hope,Thank you,

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #137574

      I have said it MANY times here: I have learned so much from the incredibly insightful ladies here. Phyllis and Gabby said it so well!

      I’m just behind Gabby. Now 67, hormones started on my birthday at 65, picking my way through surgeries, a small town physician, and never more fulfilled in my life with a wife of 35 years (so, yes, a late bloomer).

      Love your life. Our days are limited and our lives precious.


    • #137497
      Emily Alt

      FWIW, I don’t feel or act my age.  I’m 63.  I started transitioning 19+ months ago after decades of denying who I was.  Life has never been better.  You’re never too old!


    • #137460
      DeeAnn Hopings

      My public coming out was October 10, 2015. Although I had attended various gatherings for crossdressers and transgender people for a year prior to that, the locations were 60 minutes and 90 minutes away. For October 10 I was 2 miles or less from my house and in front of about 130 people, some of whom were co-workers. I am 74 now and if the opportunity came again, I would do the same. However, I would never recommend what I did to someone else.

      Coming out is a very unique process and everyone has to figure out what’s appropriate for their own situation. This is not a One Size Fits All kind of process. We really have to understand our own goals, our own constraints and our own environment.

      There are no short cuts or substitutions.

      For me, yes, being older has some bearing on what I do. But, a major player in all of this is that I am retired. No worrying about performance reviews and promotions. As the late Rick Nelson sang in Garden Party:

      ”You see, ya can’t please everyone, so ya got to please yourself.”

    • #137452

      I guess at the age of 68 (I came out at age 65 with presenting and starting HRT and having vaginoplasty at 66 and joining TH at age 67) that I probably qualify as an “older” transgender. I don’t feel this old although I cannot participate in activities that require a lot of stamina, agility, or speed.

    • #137433

      Hello Darlene,

      Welcome to our TransGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Transgender Support Site. We are a wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.

      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
      Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      ============ TGH MtF ChatRoom ============================

      =========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #137427
      Dana Munson

      Hi! I turn 70 later this year. Began my transition middle of last year, after being pretty sure for decades that I was trans, and not one of your garden variety crossdressers. But life circumstances got in the way of a transition back then. Going for it now and have never been happier with life!

      • #137500

        Dana: We are right there with you. You are you and there is not another “Dana” God bless you in your journey.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #137579
          Dana Munson

          “Not another ‘Dana'”??   Hee hee, I actually know 2 other Dana’s . . . and one is a guy.  At least he was when I last saw him . . . 🙂

          2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #137428

        Glad for you Dana,  enjoy

        Better late than ever

        I hated that I waited so long to come out

        Very nice meeting you


        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #137416

      Been almost 16 months for me, I will be 72 this month

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #137415

      Hello nice hearing from you.

      • Welcome.
      • I came out about 5 years at 71 and i have  never been  happier
      • It’s great to be finally out and enjoying my femininity that was hidden for so long
      • Enjoy
      • Your  never to  old  to come out.
      • Nice meeting
      • Welcome
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