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So after a wild day today with my fiancé, things came down to the wire with my best friend and soon to be best man in my wedding next year. I came out to him. Not in a light way either. He knows I’ve been in therapy for a month or so now. I decided I wanted to tell him exactly why I’m in therapy.
My fiancé is in the hospital for reasons we won’t discuss here. She’s okay. Just getting better now. My best friend rushed to be by her side while I was at work. He’s seriously the best human being on the planet. I initially planned to come out to him tomorrow, but we got together after I got my fiancé settled in at the hospital.
Terrified because I knew he wanted me to talk to him tonight instead of tomorrow, we sat down and talked about her for a while. After a half hour or so, he mentioned that I had said I needed to talk to him about something important. Okay… here we go!
I decided to lead with the obvious. I’m in therapy blah blah blah. But what you don’t know is!
…shit… how do I say this.
Lets start easy. Hi! I’m bisexual and have hid that for the past 23 years of our friendship!
Okay that was easy. Let’s go further.
So you know how I’m in therapy? Cool. Wanna know why??? So here’s the thing. I have three things going on. One fuels the other two. I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety and then there’s the third thing. It’s a little scary for me to admit and I wasn’t sure how he would take it. He initially thought I was diagnosed with bipolar or something. Then I dropped the bomb.
I came flat out and told him everything. Shaking the whole way through. And by everything, I mean everything. I came flat out and admitted for the first time outside forums that I am transgender. Oh my god was that terrifying. It took every ounce of energy not to cry. When I looked up, the same guy I’ve known since pre k was sitting accross from me with the same warm welcoming glow. His reaction? He told me he is so proud of me and thinks I’m the strongest person he knows. He also said I’m the best actor he knows. Lol
we talked for hours about what being trans means to me and how far I want to take this. He assured me throughout the night that no matter what, he will always support me and be by my side through anything. He encourages me to make a full transition if I feel I want to. I showed him a picture of me as Skyler and he reacted with “Holy shit. You are beautiful! I’d have no idea you’re not a genetic girl.” He has told me that any time I want to hang out as Skyler, he’s completely open to it and just wants me to be me.
On top of everything, he reached in the closet and pulled out a gift wrapped box that has probably been there a year or so. He gave me an adorable pair of shoes he bought for his ex that happened to fit perfectly. Oh my god. Seriously. I’m on cloud nine. Granted, my mind is on my fiancé 110% right now and I’m worried sick about her. However, I never expected telling him this would go this amazing. Thank god for amazing friendships!
Anyone have any great coming out stories?? I’d love to hear them!
What a wonderful story Skyler. Never discount the strength of friendship. I’ve noticed that we tend to build up a whole background around what we are about to tell people and unless there is reasons for them to suspect something gender related they immediately think its some serious medical issue like cancer. They end up being relieved and either get very supportive or pensive as they don’t want to say something unintentionally hurtful.
I hope your fiancé is doing well now and the two of you can continue your journey together.
Hugs, Cloe
Thank you Cloe. That’s exactly how it happened too. I told him I’ve been “diagnosed” with three things. He understood the first two – depression and anxiety – without an issue. Then asked what the third was and got super serious. Asked me if it was manic depressive or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia. I had to just take a deep breath and come flat out nearing tears telling him I’m transgender. The tears were a bit of a mixed emotion. Part happy to have finally heard those words come out of my mouth, part terrified of what was to come next. His smile though when I looked up cleared everything. Granted left me an emotional mess, but he told me he’s proud of me and supports anything to come. For the first time in 23 years, I felt like we were able to hang out as male and female friends. I didn’t feel like I was putting on a show. But at the same time, nothing changed. We talked about the same things, played the same board game, and drank the same Tom Collins we always drink.
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