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I came out to myself – which is to say that I accepted that I am not the man I’ve been trying to live as all my life but that I am Abby, a wonderful woman – on Sept 27. I came out to my wife Sept 30 and over the next few days to my daughters, sisters and a a couple of close friends. And some doctors. And a couple of the girls at LensCrafters since I was buying lovely very feminine pink frames. I had told my wife that I would not come out to “the world” until she was ready. And I have quite willingly honored that. She said that we need to wait 6 months and revisit it and meantime I should get a counselor to work through some of the issues in transitioning which I gladly did and I LOVE ❤️ my counselor. That was three months ago.
Yesterday was a wonderful Christmas from her. She gave me gift cards for JC Penny and Walmart and said that it is because she knows I like to buy my women’s clothes there. Wow! She also got me some panties – the very ones I like. And there was a flower print pair and a pink with polka dots pair among them. I have been discovering how very girlie I am and I love my girlie clothes. I have several pairs of socks that have the ruffle lace trim at the top. I’ve got a pair on for my profile pic.
Anyway, she used my name, Abby on a couple of my gifts and AWS – Abby Willow Scott – on another. I could have cried tears of joy. (But “real men don’t cry” is so ingrained into me that I haven’t figured out how to let that happen yet). So really, a great Christmas.
Couldn’t get any better. Wrong. Last night we were talking and I told her I didn’t have the words to express how touching the things she had done for Abby all day were, especially just using my name on my gifts instead of my birth name – how much it meant to me.
She said she knew I’d been struggling. And then she said – and this is just one of the many reasons I love this woman – that she felt it was time for me to come out all the way. My spirit soared! My heart sang! I was filled with happiness! I wanted to run out the door right away and shout to the world, “I AM ABBY!” But it was late and I was in my reindeer nightie and it was all kind of impractical! Can you believe this woman? Three months ahead of schedule. On Christmas. With a heart full of love.
There are logistics involved. Who do I tell first? Family, close friends. How in God’s name do I tell my folks? 😬Who do I tell personally either by phone, in person, email, etc. There are so many I know that I can’t tell everyone that way. I’ve decided to tell them via FB. The post will probably take a couple of days to write. I want it to be just so. If I’m going to put it out there I might as well put it out there but also do it well. I don’t know how long it will take. First things first though. Those closest to me. My parents. 😬 And so on.
Now here’s something. I am excited about this prospect. And I am also so scared. Fear of the unknown perhaps. I don’t know how people will react. I am afraid I will lose people I don’t want to. I realize it’s entirely possible. I have to remind myself – as I often do in any number of situations – such is life. In any case, wish me luck. I’ll keep you posted.
from your girly girl Abby!
BTW – still in my reindeer nightie. Being a lazy girl today!
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