Coming Out to My Therapist

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  • #100296
    Michelle Liefde
    Ambassador

    In the last few weeks, I have been struggling with gender dysphoria more than I ever have before.  So I came out to my therapist last week to try to help wrap my head around what I have been feeling.  I have been seeing her for my anxiety and depression but had not confided in my gender issues.  I really never have allowed myself to truly deal with the emotions and the years of repression that kept and keeps me closeted.   But after getting staycation from work and getting to express and dress as Michelle along with the amazing support from my wife has given me the courage to finally open up to another person.

    I did not mean to out myself and it was toward the end of the session when I was mentioning my feelings about my absence from the support sites (CDH and TGH) that have been pivotal in getting to where I am now.  I gave her a very brief version of my story. I tend to try to express big things softly so I told her I was feeling a bit gender dysphoric.  I couldn’t believe how I said as if I was saying I was having an off day.  Trust is hard for me so I tend to downplay things. Her response was so affirming and compassionate.  She smiled and told me thank you for telling her and that she felt honored that I was comfortable in telling her. She’s been my therapist since the fall so I have been wondering how to approach it and in my typical fashion I blundered into it.  I have a few weeks before my next session with her and will be curious what will be next.  Thanks for reading….

    Michelle

    4 users thanked author for this post.
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    • #100408

      Hi Michelle…

      It’s funny you should touch on that. I have been seeing a psychologist for a couple of years to help with recuperation from a head injury. She has helped me heaps but I have had to say “goodbye” to just about everything that had made sense to me as a man! The therapy was aimed at helping me ‘bridge’ this major gap. At one session last October I told her about my crossdressing… it just sort of erupted out of my mouth before I stop myself! She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and dared me to come to the next session dressed ‘en femme’.
      I did and unleashed Polly! My female anima had stepped up to fill a major void… I could put away my tired, old male self and become someone I had wished to become but had not even dared to be. Wow! When I rocked up to the next session I was Polly fully armed and ready for the world. My psychologist just smiled and smiled… rather like someone completely bemused. Since that day, I have been living full time as a woman and every time I have seen her it is as Polly. All of what we discuss now is to do with transitioning (though next time it will be about grief).
      It is good to talk… it helps!

      Hugs Polly

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #100386
      Michelle Larsen
      AMBASSADOR

      Michelle, BTW, I added that to the post I started about a Book of the Month Club kind of thing…. https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/botmc-introduction/

      Michelle

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #100581
        Michelle Liefde
        MANAGING EDITOR

        Awesome, Michelle!  I am so happy to see that be created.

         

        Hugs,

        Michelle

    • #100350
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      While our minds may be compartmentalized to an extent, I think there is a significant degree of intertwining between various facets of our lives. It could very well be that your anxiety and depression issues have some relationship to the gender issues that you are experiencing.

      What a therapist does is help us to unravel our “stuff”, but unless they have a good picture of what all our “stuff” entails, they may not develop a good sense of what is going on. However, having sufficient trust to admit very closely held thoughts sometimes takes a while but it is well worth the effort.

      So, I have one question:

      After you made the admission to your therapist, how did YOU feel?

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #100380
        Michelle Liefde
        MANAGING EDITOR

        DeeAnn, I felt surprised and relieved.  I really did not expect to do it but now that a week has passed, it feels more and more like it was the right time to do it.

        • #100383
          DeeAnn Hopings
          AMBASSADOR

          I’m glad that’s how it turned out. Perhaps not unsurprisingly, MANY have the same reaction. It’s like the 800lb gorilla in the room has been dismissed and told to go bother someone else…

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #100297
      Michelle Larsen
      AMBASSADOR

      Michelle, that is a big step for sure. Just learn all you can about it so you can speak intelligently with her during your next visit. Showing her you are well read on the subject will go a long way in her being able to help you. Michelle

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #100379
        Michelle Liefde
        MANAGING EDITOR

        Thanks Michelle.  We did talk albeit briefly on some reading material and had to smile when she suggested “She’s Not There” which is on my reading list.

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