Common questions

[Enna Anonymous]

Hi, I’m on the board of an LGBT group in the Phoenix area and we’re hosting a panel discussion. The first panel centers around the personal experience of the panelists. Are there any questions that you get regularly or feel are important to address that I could ask during the discussion?

[DeeAnn Hopings]

I’m looking forward to seeing what folks write as in 4 years I can probably count the times on one hand when I’ve asked about my personal experience as a trans person (outside of surveys and being asked about pronouns). I’m not sure why this is. I am not 100% passable, so I’m pretty sure that most would have some idea of my situation. On the other hand, I live in an area where I am frequently in the company of “L’s”, “G’s” and “B’s”, so maybe folks just don’t to ask. Perhaps they are sensitive to others prying into their lives, so they don’t do it to others.

[Enna Anonymous]

So far I’ve not received any responses. We have a story to tell and it’s an interesting one. It’s often the tale of intense struggle, deep personal introspection and debilitating loss. Above all of that, courage. Moving forward to be true to ourselves regardless of the cost.

[DeeAnn Hopings]

In thinking about this a bit further, I would wonder about the thought process behind misgendering. While I have no specific answers, it is curious that someone would look at another person with full makeup, jewelry, feminine clothing (such as a hat, dress or skirt), heels and boobs and adress them as Sir. You would logically think that they are not aiming to be addressed as male, but some people ignore that. It would be sort of like looking at a hamburger and calling it is steak. While that may have been its origins, that isn’t what it is now…

[Marianne]

That is the best comparison I think l ever heard!

Thank you DeeAnn

 

[DeeAnn Hopings]

Marianne:

Thanks so much! When I was working on my engineering degree, we had to have 3 minors in humanities courses. I doubled up on psychology courses as I found human behavior very interesting and still do. I don’t how common this is for other folks, but maybe 80+% of the time when I am misgendered, it is by Latinas. I’ve talked about what I mentioned below and how I get misgendered with some other trans women. What comes up frequently in the discussions is the role that religion plays. I live in an area with many Latinx people and presumably the majority are Catholics. The thought is that this is what is driving the misgendering. Anyway, it is an interesting topic, but I don’t think that we are likely to get a definitive answer anytime soon.

Now, to remove any doubt:

I have nothing against Latinx people. I wouldn’t live where I do if it was a problem for me. Further, even though I am an unchurched Presbyterian, I have no issue with Catholics.

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