Hello! My name is Cloud, real name is Karra. And I am a questioning 20 almost 21 year old gender-fluid. Or so I think.
I’ve been having complications with my gender-identity for awhile, thinking it would be better to be a man than a female so I could freely express myself better as a man than female. But in the end I would always miss the feminine side of myself. So I would always say, “Well, I guess I’m a female.” But it would feel… fake. I’ve always wondered about the male body, and it would always make me more comfortable than thinking about the female one.
Once I identified as a gender-fluid I felt more at piece, but the fear of having a female is slowly getting to me. I met some people on a game who helped me get to this point. But with this realization, I’m also realizing that I hate having the female body, with the thought of having a female chest scares me. And the thought of the reproductive system, along with the other stuff that comes with it. It doesn’t just scare me. It also disgusts me.
I feel trapped as a female, thats one thing thats obvious to me. But I need to discover more, I enjoy cute things, such as sweets, and adorable animals, everything adorable, but that shouldn’t define me as any gender.
Another thing is that I’m scared to tell my parents about this, they’re understanding and all, but it’s hard for me to say anything, since I want to make them proud… and financially it’ll be hard to afford counceling.
Am I a transgender male? Or am I gender-fluid? What am I? I’m confused emotionally.
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