Debi’s Journey

[Debi Saunders]

December 2019

Three weeks ago, I had been having counselling which led me to realise that I have a genuine age related hormonal imbalance. I had grown A cup breasts and was becoming impotent, having hot flushes and my thoughts were often on my wish to become female.

I had known I was a girl since I was 6, crossdressed as a child and teen, had a gender fluid stage 25 years ago where I was a man at work, a feminised male most of the time and fully femme a few times a month. I knew I liked men sexually and had had a few boyfriends.

For the past 22 years I have been married and playing the cis-male. I have fathered a child, and step parented two. I love my wife, though she is very controlling and somewhat emotionally abusive. But now I was feminising. I was validated, I would become Debi.

I was due to meet a new counsellor, who asked if she would meet my male self or Debi. I cannot dress yet as my wife has not allowed me the monetary freedom to get clothes, so I said male. Then decided to create a femme email address and attend as Debi in drab.

The first session left me elated. The counsellor said she saw a feminine person in front of her. I started to use subliminal files and they made me feel even better. I have now told three female colleagues and friends about Debi, and have a beautician, fashion designer, and owner of a local flat that I will have the keys of standing by to help me onwards.

The next issue is working out how to break this to my wife. Christmas holidays coming soon and a long time for us to have ‘that conversation’.

[Anonymous]

Hi Debi,

Good luck, it takes a lot of courage and planing for the right moment. My wife is quite controling and emotionally abusive as well. She has met Sharon a number of time, but wont alow me to dress in frount of her or while she is home.

She says she is accepting as she hasn’t emptyed out my draws and my makeup is still in the bathroom. But she won’t go out when im home and wants to come with me every time i go to town, I wear my womans underwear every weekend including bra as i now have C cup boobs. I get called a sissy and fagot regulary, I told my wife a year after we got married, got married in 1973 and have 3 children.

[Breanna Leigh]

WoW Sharon!!!

I am so sorry to here that, “anyone”, would call you names!! Personally, I would not, could not allow that and the offender would get a piece of my mind.

It’s your journey Hon and if your OK with it, then so be it. But if you have a desire to stop this, please, contact me and I will do all I can to help you!

Hugs, Breanna

[Anonymous]

Thanks Breanna.

It is only my wife that slangs off at me, I understand that she is frustrated and  that (sissy and fagot) is just her anger, they just fly over my head now and not worth the effort of debaiting. Been called a Drag Queen i find more offending, to me a drag queen is one who dresses for show and excitment. Where as Sharon dresses to be the one who i am inside. yes i get excited to plan and do it as i can feel comfortable, relaxed and me.

My wife went to Australia for a week a few years back, as im renovating a old villa I booked that time of work so that i could work on the house interia, but most of all i was myself for the week. I removed all my male clothes from the house replacing them with Sharon, Prebooked the building supplies so i could pick them up on the way home.

First thing was to do the heavy stuff that required outside movement then into Sharon mode. all went well, I went out shopping and in the evening went to a local town about an hour away Catching up with a transitioning friend. The renovaitions went great, even built a hidden wordrobe into an old empty chiminy well. (as the house had been relocated all the brickwork ahd beeb removed). It all fell flat day 4 when my daughter called to say she was on her way home to stay as her boyfriends grandfather had died and she needed st stay fir a while.

I have had a number of other adventures but they all came to a stop when my wife decided to give up work. This has been a number of years now. I had tole a couple of my female friends at work about Sharon and one has been absolutly supportive, another one turned sour and told others at work about me. The workers have spoken behind my back, only one has approched me about what happened, not another word said, other than one asked if i kept my listick in my pocket, not worth a reply and one has gropped my breasts. There is about 250 workers and i am maintaince fitter covering the whole  paper machine and coverting lines. It has not come back to my wife that all these people know. How awsome is that.

So there is only one problem, my wife and how to convince her that we can work together, but she is a black and white person there is no grey or colour.

 

Happy New Year to all

Sharon

[Breanna Leigh]

Hi Sharon,

I am so sorry to hear about your wife and the work incident, the woman betraying your confidence. I know how painful it can be when people criticize us for simply being ourselves. Obviously, the guilty people are prejudice with no compassion. I believe that when people lash out to hurt us, often times it’s because they are insecure with their own sexual identity. The funny thing is, being transgender is not something we can control and really has nothing to do with sexual preferance. I have counseled many trans woman who tell me the desire sex with a man, but only dressed as a girl. What they don’t understand, is that they were already bi curious but dressing as a female gives them permission to explore. It sounds like your wife relates being trans with being gay, but not all trans girls like men. Sounds like she needs an education in what being transgender is all about from the medical to the emotional aspects of it. Personally, I love when I can talk to someone like that and open their eyes to their mistakes, however it can be frustrating, I know.

What I will say to you Hon is that YOU MUST be happy with yourself!! You MUST do what you need to do to be content and not allow another person, not the wife, not the family to keep you from happiness. I someone truly loves you they will want you to be happy and not expect you to live according to their expectations of what they want you to be. I go thru the same nonsense with my mother and sister!! Both of them think being trans is “worse” than being gay. How do I reply to that one?? So, I told them I am simply gonna be myself and if they care to talk with me, great, but I will be female. I have not heard from them in 9 months until recently, they have started calling me on the phone but they refuse to discuss the subject. I told my parents when I was 5 y/o that I was really a girl but they refused to raise me as one, not allowing me to be myself and telling me that I was to not think that way because it was wrong. They made me feel guilty and ashamed for feeling as I did and all that guilt lead me to 20 years of heroin and alcohol addiction. I have been clean for 18 years now and I have learned not to feel guilty for who I am. I am very confident living 24/7, 365 as a woman and feel happiness I never felt before. I am now nice to people and everyone who knows me, now loves me.And I love them.

It sounds like you need to make some decisions and have some heart to heart with your wife about how you feel. If she continues to be verbally abusive, I know I would not stay!! I totally understand how a wife feels when they find out that their husband, wants to be a wife. It totally rocks their world and they become very angry, but anger never solves any problem. And you need to decide if transition is for you or do you want to express yourself thru cross dressing. Good Luck!!

Hugs, Breanna

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