- October 18, 2023 at 1:30 pm #141394Lucia ValquiriaFREE
For a while now I’ve had moments where i feel off, like something is bothering me but I’m not sure what it is. It just lingers in the background… I realized it was me being bothered about not having the body I wish for (tbh I’m not sure if surgery would be a good idea since I don’t have good health. This is what seems to be bothering me I think). I ended up crying over it and afterwards I felt a little better. Like it was stress relief.
This has happened several times now. It seems like it must all collect in my head and then I feel miserable until I crack and cry and let it all out.
Today has been the latest episode of it. Woke up with it and have felt off on and of through the day. Nearly came to crying but it didn’t seem to want to come out yet, I think I still have a mental block of “men don’t cry”, since last time I had to push myself to let it out.
What do you all do when/if you experience anything like this?
- October 18, 2023 at 6:51 pm #141396Melissa MartellFREE
Like most males, we were taught to be strong and not cry. It is hard to break from this. But it is perfectly okay to cry once in a while. I do. I cried recently when my name was legally changed.
Don’t worry about SRS. I am not even certain if I will qualify because I’m 67 and I have a few health issues. However you can still transition without having SRS. I live as a woman full time and I will never become a man again. You see the actual transformation happens in your mind. SRS only gives you the physical characteristics of a female. You will still keep your prostate. Hormones will help but you were still born male. The real issue is your brain which is causing your gender dysphoria. You have to thoroughly believe you are a woman. Even biological females do not have all the physical features of a woman but they believe they are women because they were told they were at birth. I was born a male but I am no more a male than most women are. To put it simply, it is what is between your ears and not just what’s between your legs that determines your true gender identity. I truly believe that I am a woman. My advice is that if you feel you are woman, then try living as a woman as soon as you practically can. If you feel good when living as a woman that will help you begin to believe in yourself.
- October 19, 2023 at 6:23 am #141399Lucia ValquiriaFREE
I’ve been “transitioning” for nearly two years now, next month makes two full years since my fem side finally came out.
I dress femininely as much as possible, if I’m at home I’m always dressed as Lucia. I only downplay it when I have to go out or someone is coming round.
I have no desire to go back to how I was before, I intend to go forwards. Just in very small steps! I completely agree “the actual transformation happens in your mind.” Itll take time to fully adjust I guess since Im still early in all this, having only properly dealt with it for two years. (Before hand I didn’t know it was gender issues. I just thought I was weird).
Thanks for the advice ladies😀. I’ll try to think positive and believe in myself.
- October 20, 2023 at 7:04 am #141427Jill LaceyFREE
Lucia, it’s ok if a good cry happens occasionally. I think you will find most of us do it. Gender dysphoria is real and has many faces. Each of us see and feel its effects in various ways. I have learned to identify it, deal with it, and learn from it. Definitely no fun. I call it my PMS. There are days I could scream until my hair falls out, cry til my eyes fall out, and suffer the emotional pain that eats at me until I feel like giving up. But I don’t. I talk to myself, and slowly get a handle on the situation. I overcome. I begin to see I have good in me, value, hope. I didn’t ask to be this way, but I am and I must be the best me I can be, period. So I will fight the demons til my final day.
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