Does/Did Mom Know?

  • Creator
  • #123424

    Did/Does Mom Know?

    As some of you know, I am set to go through transition yet again.  Well, actually a THIRD time (but that’s a whole other post). The surgeon and insurance are having me do the therapy AGAIN to RE-establish the diagnosis of gender dysphoria. I would be put out, but insurance is going to cover a better part of this than ever before…so I’m good with it!

    The new (insurance approved) therapist asked several questions: Did your mother know? How did she react? Was she supportive?  Fortunately, those questions engendered quite pleasant memories and responses. So, I thought that would be an interesting set of questions to throw out to you ladies!  It may be difficult for some of us, I realize. I intend to cause no discomfort.  However, those of us having done therapy know that processing the difficult feelings helps us to grow.  So…,

    Did/does mom know?

    How did she react?

    Was mom supportive?

    Did/does mom actively help you in any way?


    What sayeth the collective wisdoms, y’all?


    2 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    • #123958

      I can not say 100% for sure as I never came out to her before she passed but there were some signs she knew for sure. She used to make comments when perusing my baby book on how much I looked like a little girl in the photos (and I do). She used to mention I need to change my chapstick as it was staining my lips, as you can guess it was lipstick that was doing the staining, she went to school as a beautician and must have known. When staying home from college I used to keep my female clothing hanging in the very back of my closet and I saw my mom once looking in there but she never said a word. When I was older she used to comment that when I went out for the weekend I must be coming home from a rave as I failed to wash the black from my eyes, oh did I love to use black eyeliner and that 90’s smoky look. But one of the bigger signs was when a teen after getting my eyes dilated at the mall and I could not see well she took me to Forever 21 to try on shirts and stuff, believe me I could see well enough to know they were not guys shirts and there was no way she did not know.



    • #123707

      Hi Dee

      Although I spent most of my life away from my mother, I did have a conversation with her a month or so before she passed away in which I explained to her who I really was and how that had shaped me in ways she could never know. She took it well and I have a sense that regardless of how I presented my self to her she would have been supportive, and understanding. A mother’s love, simple and understanding.

    • #123704

      There’s an old family story relayed to me by my mother that I was wearing a girls bathing suit as a toddler because it was a hand me down which was all they had and could afford. In that photo, that child is smiling beautifully. No hint of discomfort or trauma… why would there be ? That little girl was who she was. My mom relayed to me how she dearly wanted a beautiful little girl, and I’ve always suspected that my dressing in female clothes at a young age was not just coincidental. That a truth had been broached. I’ve gravitated to female clothing, and felt myself to be female as long as I can remember. It has always brought a sense of release and calm, and the acknowledgement of the discomfort of the skin I was in.

      Honestly… I wish I could ask her but she passed away years ago.  Knowing  that she dearly wanted a daughter I think she would have been thrilled at the prospect of having a daughter.  Makes me wish sometimes I came to terms with my trans self years ago so I could have given myself – and her- that gift so much sooner.

    • #123652
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Can’t say for sure as my mother passed away ~15 years before DeeAnn began to surface. However, although I don’t think she ever directly confronted me, I think she knew that I was quite taken with her clothes and shoes…

    • #123484
      Dawn J

      Hi Dee. I think my mom knew. She caught me once, trying on a pair of my granny’s heels. And then, there were the times I accidentally got lipstick on her white sundress and did a poor job of removing mascara from my lashes. However, she never said anything. She’s gone now, but if she were still here, I think she’d understand, but be disappointed. I was the only son.

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

©2022 Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa | Affiliate

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.