I’m at 33 months of HRT. Living fulltime for last 24 months. No regrets, all is well.
However, having been a widow for the last 6yrs due to a drunk driver, I’m struggling with what I want regarding a relationship. Three years ago I started my transition after dating a woman for a few years. I’ve always dated women…always. I came out to all except the last, having time with her allowed me to understand she would not approve. I left on my own free will knowing my time to transition was at hand. My late wife of 13yrs totally supported and even encouraged me to transition. Due to insecurity and financial reasons it never happened while she was still alive.
So now I’m finding my sexuality conflicting. Having never had interest or relations with men, I’m learning they now interest me. I have always been secure and confident in my sexuality. Now I’m having to reexamine what I have been certain of my whole life.
I’m not ashamed that I now find men (some! 😋) attractive. At the same time, I also see gorgeous girls and have my usual interest with them. Having never been with a man in a relationship or sexually I’m a tad intimidated….which is so not me. I get hit on by both Male & Female. Since going fulltime more so men, admittedly. I’m curious about my new interest but equally excited to see what would happen.
My dilemma is deciding. Some would say “Why choose?” but I feel compelled to examine my new feelings and be honest with myself about what I. I won’t know without finding out is my newfound thinking.
When with women I still retain my old need to be the dominant. When considering relations with men I am the polar opposite.
My post is to ask if this has been a similar situation for anyone of you? I’m probably Bi…which is fine, but I don’t know for sure. The thought of men (some) and women both excite me now whereas before lately, that wasn’t the case.
I’m not lonely nor seeking to fill a void in my life but considering all these new feelings I want to explore possibilities that I never have.
Anyone else with a similar experience?
Thanks in advance for your input! 🙂
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