Dysphoria Question

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #33749
    Eric Smith
    Participant

    I don’t particularly feel dysphoric about being male, I’m fully comfortable being a guy and acting like one on a daily basis, but I think I like the idea of being female more. One of the main things about being trans is the dysphoria, so at first I thought maybe I’m bi-gendered or something along those lines, where I can be female when I want to be. However, I don’t currently live in a situation where I could try that, so I’m stuck with hypotheticals. I cross dress in private and I’ve been out as a girl in public a few times (with an understanding female friend), and she asked me “If other people were not a problem, would you want to wear your girl clothes out a lot more?”  If I’m honest, I think I would dress in female clothing all the time, its more expressive and fun.

    Does this make me transgender?

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    Replies
    • #35762
      Andrea
      FREE

      But when I look in the mirror, I do not like what I see as a man. It is not comfortable. I don’t like my body. It just doesn’t feel right. Never has, and I’ve always wanted to change it. Always want it to be softer, easier to look at. Always have this vague sense of unease and dissatisfaction. When I present as female, this vanishes, almost completely.

      That is how I’ve been.  I hated puberty: all that hair appearing and the loss of my androgyny.  I tried to get on with being male but have been dissatisfied with my lot.  I can now see I was trying to be a “man” in order to please others.  These days I am trying to put myself first.

      Going back to the original post, it isn’t necessary to fit into a box or try and find a precise label.  If you can comfortably exist as a male but want to be and look feminine whenever possible then that will put you somewhere under the trans umbrella (in the broad sense); exactly where will be your own personal journey.    If you wish to live full-time as a woman than you don’t need dysphoria to qualify, it is your choice.  However when it comes to transitioning the medical world will probably require you to have some proof of a need to transition rather than a desire to do so.

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #35750
      Brea
      FREE

      I don’t really understand why dysphoria is a requirement for transitioning.  If you talk to a psychiatrist and they determine you are much happier when you feel like a woman (not sure that’s the best way to say that), they still won’t necessarily be able to say you have dysphoria, correct?  I believe Eric and myself feel happier when we feel more like a woman.  But we don’t feel disgusted with our bodies.  So if we are okay with our bodies but would be much happier as a woman we shouldn’t be able to transition? This is an odd stance to me.

    • #33769
      Anonymous

      dys·pho·ri·a

      /dis’fôre?/nounPSYCHIATRY

      a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.”adolescents with depression, dysphoria, mania, and anxiety disorders”

      Dysphoria is an emotional state that can follow a variety of mental illnesses or physical conditions. A person with dysphoria often experiences profound uneasiness and dissatisfaction with life, followed by depression, anxiety and agitation. Dysphoria is the opposite of euphoria.Nov 23, 2016

      Eric This the clinical definition of the disorder. If you want to transform to a female, these conditions must exist and only your psychiatrist can diagnose you! Not me and do not try to apply the definition to yourself, please see someone professional if you feel this is a factor in your everyday life. Huggs Tracee Daniels

      • #33803
        Amelia
        FREE

        I think we have to differentiate between “Gender Dysphoria and Dysphoria per se. I have never felt so unhappy with my male body that I would become dysfunctional but have realised that I have been in a state of denial regarding my true self maybe realising that there were some paths I was not mentally prepared to go down. Things have changed now. I have been on HRT for five  months and would happily have my male genetalia removed and replaced with a vagina if I could.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #33770

        To say only a psychiatrist can diagnose me and that I should not try to apply the definition of dysphoria to myself is to say I know nothing about myself and that only a professional can tell me how I feel. I agree that I should talk to someone professional about this, and that they can help me, but that view puts me in a box. Either they determine I have dysphoria and then I can be trans, or I don’t have dysphoria and I can’t be trans?

        I know that I’m not dysphoric, if you think that means I’m not trans, I can understand that view, but to tell me a professional and only a professional can decide that seems wrong

    • #33756
      Miss Cloé
      MANAGING AMBASSADOR

      In the big umbrella model of gender variance, crossdressers do have a place.  There’s no distinction of how much or how little.  Truth is you have  something non binary going on and that’s enough for me, but the only thing that matters is how you feel and want to identify.

      Your female friends question was one of the most kind things a person could ask.  There’s no judgement in it, no agenda pushing one way or the other.  It’s jus a simple question meant to help spur thought.  Whether you decide if you are TG or not is up to you.  We’re here to support you.

      Hugs, Ambassador Cloe

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #33772

        Thanks for the reply and the support for my friend, she’s a great ally. In your response you said “the only thing that matters is how you feel and want to identify,” and I guess at this point I’m trying to figure that out. Not so much validation from others if I am trans, but rather if wanting to  cross-dressing all the time in public is indicative of something more/deeper. My thought is if I dressed as a female all the time that makes me at the very least appear trans to others, but I’m stuck on the dysphoria part.

        I guess what I’m trying to understand in general (and for myself) is what’s the difference between being transgender and gender non-conforming?

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #33783
          Miss Cloé
          MANAGING AMBASSADOR

          They’re just labels hun.  Ways for us to communicate with each other.  The worst thing you can do for yourself is to let them define you.  Just learn their definitions and if you’re like me you’ll find them inadequate.  I actually don’t like the term trans or cis.  I self identify as a convergent woman.  But for the worlds sake I can go with being called transgender.

          2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #52803
            Anonymous

            Convergent Woman, what a thought provoking term. It seems to indicate such a natural process that evolves. I love it. Gianna.

            1 user thanked author for this post.
          • #52947
            Miss Cloé
            MANAGING AMBASSADOR

            It’s a transition process for sure.  It’s only natural given many of my body attributes and my innate femininity that I should want to move toward a converged mind, body and spirit. Trans means across gender.  I know my gender is female and always has been.  The only thing crossed about me were my genitals and the social role I was trained to fill because of it.  No “fault” is being attributed, just my facts.

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